ADDvanced Info
ADHD expanded, expounded, explained.
Your Personal Strengths
June 16, 2010
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I cried from beginning to end of this video. As a new member to this site, I’m very appreciative. I’ve been diagnosed for several years, but at 59 years old, I’m not sure my self esteem will ever recover. I do believe I have those strengths, but do not believe they matter to others (especially at home and in the workplace–and I work in the mental health field) nearly as much as organization and time managagement skills. Try as I do, those things are my absolute downfall, and I continue to disappoint myself and those around me. I hope I can find some help here.
I watched the video perhaps sooner than I should have. I’ve convinced myself for so long that I have no strengths, and let myself get stuck at “but…” and started crying. What has helped since was taking the Virtual Test (even though I’ve been diagnosed). The list of potential strengths added to my profile afterward has been helpful, I needed a list that I could keep looking at to reflect on. From the list I’ve found 6 things I feel comfortable saying about myself, though I’ve always considered 3 of them to be weaknesses. I suppose I’ll have to work on adjusting my thinking after beating myself up for so many years.
I want to be able to say that I’m “Open and genuine”, I feel like the things I say to people are, sometimes maybe to much. My struggle is with whether or not you can truly call yourself that if you’ve been hiding part of yourself and suffering in silence your whole life, because that doesn’t feel very open or genuine to me. Maybe I’m over thinking it?
You are welcome. Your future lies in your strengths. Pick an athlete, say basketball player Kobe Bryant. Let’s suppose he’s got the same bookkeeping and accounting skills as me. In other words, close to diddley squat. It doesn’t serve him to spend time working his weakness, taking courses in accounting, buy accounting software and trying to ‘discipline’ himself into doing his taxes. He doesn’t lack discipline. The man practices B-ball for hours, honing his skills. That’s where his time should go. That is what will benefit him most. And his team. And his fans. And anyone who loves the game of basketball. And yes, he needs to have someone he trusts handle his paperwork and bookkeeping.
thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU mwaaaah
Inspiring – thanks!
Thank you for this!! Recently diagnosed at 47, off on medical leave, stuck in my head & feeling paralysed, this has helped to pry me from my chair and make a positive list. I see this is like a fourth step, but I’ve been getting stuck on the negative stuff, and forgetting the positive….its all about the balance, and that’s what needs the focus. Thanks!!
Such a sweet video. It made me giggle.
I LOVE these ADDvanced info videos. Hope to see more more MORE and soon soon SOON!!
What’s interesting is how some ‘weaknesses’ or ‘challenges’ or ‘deficits’ can become a strength in certain circumstances. Overly talkative may be a problem at home, but not if you’re a teacher, DJ, or auctioneer.
Thank you SO MUCH.
It is so hard for me to focus on the positives, this really helps put things into perspective!
Love it!
I’ve only just discovered this site and I’m still hoping for something positive to come. My ADD is severe and I’ve spent many years vegetating, just waiting. I have a wonderful psychiatrist and ADD therapist, but I’ve never been successfully “coached”. Life is worth living, even in my middle ages. I need to know my strengths but , for now, I feel clueless. Help. Thanks.
One thing I really love about this site is how both Dr. J and Rick tackle things from two different angles and attitudes that working together make me feel less messed up, and more positive about my fate and personality. Worst case scenario, I feel understood.
I keep making my list of strength but I keep loosing them…
Thanks for the pep talk. Dr. Jain, you rock! I love this site, and I loved watching the tv program over the weekend.
Now I just need some help organizing all the information in my brain so I can get my papers done for school…grad. school….
Maybe you guys could add a section on this site….Tips for how to organize your thoughts/information when writing a paper….THAT would be really helpful.
But it is definitely important (and helpful) to remember to give credit to what we are good at…especially when in a slump or stuck or struggling….
Thanks Again.
Thanks Dr Jain. I needed to hear that!
It amazes me that I can be confronted with something I “know” and recognize that I seem to have forgotten it. Dr Jain’s advice is something I have frequently given others but just can’t seem to apply to me.
Since my partner was diagnosed with stage four cancer, it seems like all I hear are negatives. BIG negatives. BIG, UGLY negatives. I can do nothing right including care for him… but no one has been willing to step up and help with that. What they ARE willing to do is criticize MY ability.
When all the feedback you get is basically telling you how awful you are, it is really difficult to see anything redeeming much less valuable in yourself.
I get Dr. Jain’s point. I truly believe it to be the right thing to do. I also think that there is an element of “easier said than done” here too.
Kicking But!!
The reason people with ADHD and dyslexia might describe a strength and then say “but” is because they are use to hearing a compliment followed with a “but”. Sometimes, It’s like they are patting us on the back and then kicking us in the butt.
Most married men know if your wife asked ” Do you like my new outfit?”, You do not say , “Yes Dear, but the shoe don”t go with it”
Your wife will be angry with you and will go out and buy three new pairs of shoes.
A compliment with a “but this would be better”, does not always encourage people.
Here is another example, a student who has ADHD and dyslexia has to do a presentation for a class. To get through the presentation and make it interesting the student shows some pictures and draw a labeled diagram on the board. After the presentation the teacher states “that was a good presentation and I would have given you full marks but you had spelling mistakes on your diagram.” Some people call this teaching. I call it being stuck up and ignorant.
Maybe the teacher should be thinking ” He did extra work by putting up the diagram and that took gutts with his dyslexia. That person deserves full marks.
All students are our future.
Wayne McFarlane
This is GREAT! I often forget that I have so many positive traits within me. I’ve been ignoring them. Thank you do much for making this one. And I really like the last part: “All right, you have ADHD. But that’s okay, the world will be waiting.” It is beautifully encouraging.