“What’s my Motivation?” – Part Three

So I’m talking about motivation… which is part of what we’re going to look at in the workshop we’re doing.
The biggest thing I ever did that was outside of my comfort zone was this charity bike ride. 600kms. (Read Part One and Two. In that order!)
(Actually, having kids was an even bigger stretch, but I didn’t know it at the time. Whereas the Bike Rally was clearly going to be ‘Impossible.’)
So I need motivation to get in shape in time for this rally, cause I’ve never done anything like this before. Hell, I’ve actively avoiding stuff like this!
And as I said, I am motivated by the fact that people are pledging wads of cash to the charity to support me. I thought it would take weeks go meet the minimum $2,000. But people were so stunned at the idea of me doing something that involved fitness, I think they threw money in thinking, “Rick’s gonna try and ride a bike for 100 kms a day, for six days straight? This’ll be worth $2000 easy!”
The motivation keeps piling up.
My kids are proud as hell.
My son is beaming at me and announces he’s going to try out for the football team this year. (This from the shy brainiac who spent every other gym class on the bench due to asthma!) He’s beaming at me. I’m beaming back, and trying not to look panicked.)
My daughter tells my wife how proud she is that I’m doing this. (Damn! Won’t someone talk some sense to me! I’m over 50! I’m over weight. I’ve got grey hairs! Lots of em!)
It gets better.
Another husband, Hugh, who has no intention of doing the ride but has been joining his wife Darlene for some of the training rides to support her, hears what that I’ve said I’m going to do this, and suddenly he’s decided to commit as well and join the ride. And he’s older than me! (Damn!)
It gets worse. I start training and discover three of the riders in our group of 20 are grandmothers! (How come they don’t have grey hair like me?!)
One of them is less than five feet tall. She looks like a lawn gnome.
Turns out this is her third year doing the rally. (Oh my God! Robo-Granny)
What do I do? There’s no way out. Every day that passes it becomes clearer that I’m actually gonna have to do this!
I need extra motivation. I know I will need it!
Now the rally is for a charity to support people who are living with AIDS. One of my best friends, Larry, died of AIDS in 1991. Amazing guy. A blonde version of John Cleese. Miss him something fierce.
So I announce I’m doing this in the memory of Larry.
At first I thought, “You’re just saying that to sound noble.” Maybe. Partly. But on some level I was really closing the door on the possibility of backing out. I was there for some of Larry’s last days, I know the money I raise will be important.
(By the way, several of the 200 riders in the rally were HIV Positive. One rider spent every other night in a hospital on Kidney Dialysis. Boy, does that put my leg cramps in perspective.)
Now, with a little help from a lot of people, I’ve got sufficient motivation.
Again, what’s worth noting is that very little of what moved me and inspired me to keep going through the training had anything to do with me. It was for my kids, my friend, my family, the folks who pledged and a whole bunch of strangers who I will never meet but who will get help from the money we raise.
This is key.
If you want to do something big, like take on your ADHD and get it managed, I would suggest you don’t just do it to make your life easier, or remove stress, or put more money in your pocket. Notice how few people successfully quit smoking to ‘lower their chance of getting cancer’ but will quit when a grand child says, “Nana, will you be around to see me dance when I’m big?”
I don’t want to get maudlin here, but you want to create a bigger context. (Something you can do in every area of life. From your marriage to your spouses birthday to the walk in the park you are taking.)
You can’t just focus on the ‘symptoms’ or the ‘Impairments’ you’re going to eliminate or manage.
You can’t just focus on increasing your power and productivity.
You have to know what it is you’re going to do, or create, or pursue, or make happen, when you harness that power or productivity.
Getting out of bed and riding for hours, just to be in shape? It never would have happened.
I had to create a ton of motivation. Stuff that pushed me out of my comfort zone.
It’s what my brother calls, “Stakes in the ground.” For everyone to see.
Sometimes I can find or create a positive motivator. Even slightly scary ones.
“I am doing this bike rally to honour my friend, and to help a worthy cause.”
And sometimes the motivator can involve avoiding a negative.
“If I don’t do this, I’m going to let a lot of people down. And three grandmothers are going to kick my butt.”
Very helpful when on day four of the rally it’s cold, raining, there’s actually sleet in the middle of July! and my bike won’t get out of low gear.
By the way, my son made the football team.