Comments on: The Courage to ‘Come out of the ADHD closet’ http://totallyadd.com/the-courage-to-come-out-of-the-adhd-closet/ A complete guide to ADD, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) in adulthood and the documentary ADD & Loving It?! Tue, 07 Feb 2012 07:00:38 -0500 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.4 By: PrettyInPink http://totallyadd.com/the-courage-to-come-out-of-the-adhd-closet/#comment-1302 PrettyInPink Thu, 23 Jun 2011 02:39:30 +0000 http://totallyadd.com/?p=1097#comment-1302 Wish it worked that way, everyone I have confided in started to treat me different and eventually distance themselves from me. The only one who hasn't left me all together over it is my husband, but sometimes I think even he looks at me differently knowing. Sorry, don't completely agree with this one. Wish it worked that way, everyone I have confided in started to treat me different and eventually distance themselves from me. The only one who hasn’t left me all together over it is my husband, but sometimes I think even he looks at me differently knowing. Sorry, don’t completely agree with this one.

]]> By: HME http://totallyadd.com/the-courage-to-come-out-of-the-adhd-closet/#comment-1001 HME Fri, 08 Apr 2011 16:08:12 +0000 http://totallyadd.com/?p=1097#comment-1001 @Rick, I think we should join forces with Mad Pride. I really, really do. I thoroughly relate to what you write about loneliness. Sometimes it feels like I don't really exist (who am I kidding, it's not sometimes, I've been feeling like this since I was about 6). Thank you for writing about it, it's another element that I ascribed to there being "something wrong with me" all these years, and now I find that all my behaviors that I (or anyone around me) couldn't understand fall neatly into the ADHypoD cluster. @Taylormane, I've been experiencing tremendous difficulty in concentrating and trying to do work for my degree. One thing I've found helps me is Kelly Howell's audio tracks, "High Focus" really helps me tune everything out and just focus on the project at hand. After all the other rituals that can take two or three or five days to complete.. ;-) @Rick, I think we should join forces with Mad Pride. I really, really do.
I thoroughly relate to what you write about loneliness. Sometimes it feels like I don’t really exist (who am I kidding, it’s not sometimes, I’ve been feeling like this since I was about 6). Thank you for writing about it, it’s another element that I ascribed to there being “something wrong with me” all these years, and now I find that all my behaviors that I (or anyone around me) couldn’t understand fall neatly into the ADHypoD cluster.
@Taylormane, I’ve been experiencing tremendous difficulty in concentrating and trying to do work for my degree. One thing I’ve found helps me is Kelly Howell’s audio tracks, “High Focus” really helps me tune everything out and just focus on the project at hand. After all the other rituals that can take two or three or five days to complete.. ;-)

]]> By: Nunuq68 http://totallyadd.com/the-courage-to-come-out-of-the-adhd-closet/#comment-971 Nunuq68 Sun, 03 Apr 2011 07:37:42 +0000 http://totallyadd.com/?p=1097#comment-971 I was diagnosed 3 weeks ago. . . and I have had very mixed feelings about disclosing. To my inner circle . . . there has been great support. Even two of my mentors / supervisors at work. However - I was advised to also tell the phsycian with whom I worked closely (as my lack of ability to move projects forward at work had been frustrating). . . and tell her was a HUGE mistake. She has spent the last 3 weeks sending tirades of emails to my superiors and undermining me with my staff - trying to get me fired (which she can't - but she's made my work life very stressful) . Maybe one day I can be a poster child - but right now . . do choose carefully (especially at work) to whom you disclose. . . I was diagnosed 3 weeks ago. . . and I have had very mixed feelings about disclosing. To my inner circle . . . there has been great support. Even two of my mentors / supervisors at work. However – I was advised to also tell the phsycian with whom I worked closely (as my lack of ability to move projects forward at work had been frustrating). . . and tell her was a HUGE mistake. She has spent the last 3 weeks sending tirades of emails to my superiors and undermining me with my staff – trying to get me fired (which she can’t – but she’s made my work life very stressful) . Maybe one day I can be a poster child – but right now . . do choose carefully (especially at work) to whom you disclose. . .

]]> By: taylormane http://totallyadd.com/the-courage-to-come-out-of-the-adhd-closet/#comment-893 taylormane Mon, 21 Mar 2011 23:29:13 +0000 http://totallyadd.com/?p=1097#comment-893 I am not sure if I have add but I suspect I do. I can rarely concentrate on anything for more than a brief period of time and feel kind of helpless. The college I attend has an assessment available but the process will take a couple of months to finish. Does anyone have any suggestions on concentration? Im 31 and feel like I have the attention span of a 4 year old. I recently quit drinking and I feel like my impulsivity and absent mindedness is amplified:(l help! I am not sure if I have add but I suspect I do. I can rarely concentrate on anything for more than a brief period of time and feel kind of helpless. The college I attend has an assessment available but the process will take a couple of months to finish. Does anyone have any suggestions on concentration? Im 31 and feel like I have the attention span of a 4 year old. I recently quit drinking and I feel like my impulsivity and absent mindedness is amplified:(l help!

]]> By: JaneFC http://totallyadd.com/the-courage-to-come-out-of-the-adhd-closet/#comment-826 JaneFC Wed, 09 Mar 2011 15:03:42 +0000 http://totallyadd.com/?p=1097#comment-826 Well, first, did you INTENTIONALLY put the date as March 9, 2010 or was your ADHD in full swing? Either way, I love it! I am an ADHDer and I would say that now, after one and a half years of an official diagnosis (after 42 years of living it with NO diagnosis), my Son's diagnosis (now 9 years old) and my husband's diagnosis (all COMBINED type) so you can imagine the energy in our house, that I COMPLETELY AGREE about "coming out of the closet" being a positive, necessary and liberating! Never in a million years did I think I would feel this way, but I do! Ironically, I am a Special Educator and for years tried to hide the ADHD in my life, my own and my son's. Now, however, I am open and direct. I am careful, as you mention to be, but still pretty causal about sharing it. This casual and candid quality has helped me achieve a level of self confidence, acceptance and respect for myself and my family which has replaced the shame I felt when I was trying to hide our ADHD. Telling people has been THE single most important step in my life towards self acceptance, self knowledge and simply put, ME BEING ME! My son and I can have a humor about our ADHD in a way that we could not when I was in "hiding" mode. In fact, just yesterday, while entering a store with my son, after parking the car, I said, as I always do, which NEVER helps, "Okay, help mommy remember where she parked the car" and then I said, "I should write a book titled, ADD stole my CAR!" There is NO WAY I would have been able to joke and laugh this way before I "came out of the closet" and I believe that this type of loving and humorous acceptance is very healthy for my son as he grows up as an ADHDer, hopefully with acceptance, humor and NOT SHAME! Next step: Buy entire family ADHD T-shirts and wear with PRIDE! Let's keep educating people about ADHD :) JaneFC pride, understanding and WITHOUT shame! Next thing to do: Buy my family your ADHD T-shirts and SMILE while wearing them (with pride!). Let's continue to educate people about what ADHD really IS! I must sign off now, from this brief "comment", I was suppose to be working before getting on the road, but alas, I spent my whole time writing this comment and now I am LATE......surprised? JaneFC an ADHD WOMAN who would LOVE the emphasis on women and we leave the store" and then I said to him, referencing the new book you have coming out, "ADD Stole my Car Keys", a title he and I LOVE, for years hid my own/my son's ADHD to present as the Special Educator WITHOUT special needs. Now, I simply tell people,"My son has ADHD and so do I." It feels good! I love being able to be honest and open about it. I actually enjoy letting my symptoms surface every now and then and having acceptance and humor about it. Nothing has helped me be ME more than accepting, discussing, being open and matter of fact about my ADHD and my familie's. NOTHING! myself. I love not having to be perfect. And, I actually think it helps others to hear that I am good at what I do professionally, at home, for myself, and on the job. Well, first, did you INTENTIONALLY put the date as March 9, 2010 or was your ADHD in full swing? Either way, I love it!
I am an ADHDer and I would say that now, after one and a half years of an official diagnosis (after 42 years of living it with NO diagnosis), my Son’s diagnosis (now 9 years old) and my husband’s
diagnosis (all COMBINED type) so you can imagine the energy in our house, that I COMPLETELY AGREE about “coming out of the closet” being a positive, necessary and liberating! Never in a
million years did I think I would feel this way, but I do! Ironically, I am a Special Educator and for years tried to hide the ADHD in my life, my own and my son’s. Now, however, I am open and
direct. I am careful, as you mention to be, but still pretty causal about sharing it. This casual and candid quality has helped me achieve a level of self confidence, acceptance and respect for myself and my family which has replaced the shame I felt when I was trying to hide our ADHD. Telling people has been THE single most important step in my life towards self acceptance, self knowledge and simply put, ME BEING ME!
My son and I can have a humor about our ADHD in a way that we could not when I was in “hiding” mode. In fact, just yesterday, while entering a store with my son, after parking the car, I said, as I always do, which NEVER helps, “Okay, help mommy remember where she parked the car” and
then I said, “I should write a book titled, ADD stole my CAR!” There is NO WAY I would have been able to joke and laugh this way before I “came out of the closet” and I believe that this type of loving and humorous acceptance is very healthy for my son as he grows up as an ADHDer, hopefully with acceptance, humor and NOT SHAME!
Next step: Buy entire family ADHD T-shirts and wear with PRIDE!
Let’s keep educating people about ADHD :)
JaneFC

pride, understanding and WITHOUT shame! Next thing to do: Buy my family your ADHD T-shirts
and SMILE while wearing them (with pride!). Let’s continue to educate people about what ADHD really IS! I must sign off now, from this brief “comment”, I was suppose to be working before getting on the road, but alas, I spent my whole time writing this comment and now I am LATE……surprised?
JaneFC an ADHD WOMAN who would LOVE the emphasis on women and

we leave the store” and then I said to him, referencing the new book you have coming out, “ADD Stole my Car Keys”, a title he and I LOVE,

for years hid my own/my son’s ADHD to present as the Special Educator WITHOUT special

needs. Now, I simply tell people,”My son has ADHD and so do I.” It feels good! I love being able to be honest and open about it. I actually enjoy letting my symptoms surface every now and then and having acceptance and humor about it.

Nothing has helped me be ME more than accepting, discussing, being open and matter of fact about my ADHD and my familie’s. NOTHING!

myself. I love not having to be perfect. And, I actually think it helps others to hear that I am good at
what I do professionally, at home, for myself, and on the job.

]]> By: ellencg http://totallyadd.com/the-courage-to-come-out-of-the-adhd-closet/#comment-747 ellencg Fri, 25 Feb 2011 06:03:56 +0000 http://totallyadd.com/?p=1097#comment-747 I have been diagnosed for years, but because of my profession it is not a wise decision to come out, perhaps. I do try to warn people I date beforehand after dealing with countless recriminations. I am interested in dating a psychologist and worry when I tell her she will go screaming from the room. Strange thing is I would tell her up front, but I do consider private information that wouldn't be appropriate to share immediately, so I wait in this limbo of which date is the right I have been diagnosed for years, but because of my profession it is not a wise decision to come out, perhaps.

I do try to warn people I date beforehand after dealing with countless recriminations. I am interested in dating a psychologist and worry when I tell her she will go screaming from the room. Strange thing is I would tell her up front, but I do consider private information that wouldn’t be appropriate to share immediately, so I wait in this limbo of which date is the right

]]> By: Maribel http://totallyadd.com/the-courage-to-come-out-of-the-adhd-closet/#comment-595 Maribel Thu, 23 Dec 2010 03:16:25 +0000 http://totallyadd.com/?p=1097#comment-595 For TotallyADDiva!! * high five* i friggn love it!!! Your fellow sistah in health ♪♫ ~ ♥ ~ Maribel For TotallyADDiva!! * high five* i friggn love it!!!

Your fellow sistah in health ♪♫

~ ♥ ~ Maribel

]]> By: Maribel http://totallyadd.com/the-courage-to-come-out-of-the-adhd-closet/#comment-594 Maribel Thu, 23 Dec 2010 01:47:06 +0000 http://totallyadd.com/?p=1097#comment-594 First things first ! A big fat *hug* and sincerely enthusiastic THANK YOU to all involved with this amazing & enlightening website/education/guidance... and all the other wonderful tools i have yet to discover here :) I am 26 yrs old, previously diagnosed with Bi-Polar & Depression & PTSD. Never took medication for it though, thank GOD! I overcame my old & very toxic alcohol & nicotine habits cold turkey last year- (with the help of alot of LOVE of course ) So Im kinda getting to know myself all over again :) I was so relieved that all signs pointed to "yes" when i saw this special on T.V during a short hospitilization stay in the kookoos nest for a spout of uncontrolled rage recently. c-('.'c-) *doh!* I even got teary eyed with joy to know I wasnt alone in feeling I wasnt crazy, lazy or stupid! I just got married to my soul twin, ( who totally understands my kooky ways) I found my dream job at an amazingly high volume/fast paced wellness center..(totally fits my persona) So my goal is to make sure I reach all my goal & dreams, happy , healthy & confident. No more having to "fake the funk" ♪♫♪ For the first time in my life, I honeslty feel I will heal the old emotional wounds/baggage that were preventing me in truly accepting who I AM! Im proud to be ADHD dag nammit! :) *Here's to a bright & well organized future!!! ~ Your fellow sister in health, Maribel First things first !

A big fat *hug* and sincerely enthusiastic THANK YOU to all involved with this amazing & enlightening website/education/guidance… and all the other wonderful tools i have yet to discover here :)

I am 26 yrs old, previously diagnosed with Bi-Polar & Depression & PTSD.
Never took medication for it though, thank GOD!

I overcame my old & very toxic alcohol & nicotine habits cold turkey last year- (with the help of alot of LOVE of course )

So Im kinda getting to know myself all over again :)

I was so relieved that all signs pointed to “yes” when i saw this special on T.V during a short hospitilization stay in the kookoos nest for a spout of uncontrolled rage recently. c-(‘.’c-) *doh!*

I even got teary eyed with joy to know I wasnt alone in feeling I wasnt crazy, lazy or stupid!

I just got married to my soul twin, ( who totally understands my kooky ways) I found my dream job at an amazingly high volume/fast paced wellness center..(totally fits my persona)

So my goal is to make sure I reach all my goal & dreams, happy , healthy & confident. No more having to “fake the funk” ♪♫♪

For the first time in my life, I honeslty feel I will heal the old emotional wounds/baggage that were preventing me in truly accepting who I AM!

Im proud to be ADHD dag nammit! :)

*Here’s to a bright & well organized future!!!

~ Your fellow sister in health,
Maribel

]]> By: JJyankee http://totallyadd.com/the-courage-to-come-out-of-the-adhd-closet/#comment-505 JJyankee Thu, 02 Dec 2010 01:33:14 +0000 http://totallyadd.com/?p=1097#comment-505 Hello John, (what's my pin number) Is there a chat room on this site? I have had very similar experiences (I'm 52). Was not diagnosed until my 16 year-old son was diagnosed and than I had a big AHA! moment. Also had been treated with antidepressants (20 years), anxiety meds...helped some but my mind was always felt fuzzy, distracted, agitated...mood often very low, basically bored with life in general. When something good happens I feel great, but it subsides quickly and I'm looking for the next thing to make me feel good again...new car (about 1 week), new dog (a few weeks), buy stuff (hours)...relationships are tough because I get bored with people very quickly...I'm less bored with myself; need lots of personal space. so, meds...tried vyvanse (made me verrrry edgy), next adderal instant release, better but not great, more motivated, less bored, but not really more focused; now I hyperfocus all the time and so don't get stuff done... laptop is my best friend as there's so much stuff to see and do and know!!!!! So I'm back to my doc next week and want to try something new but have no idea what as it seems meds either make you sleepy or too alert...I'm stumped too. Hello John, (what’s my pin number) Is there a chat room on this site?
I have had very similar experiences (I’m 52). Was not diagnosed until my 16 year-old son was diagnosed and than I had a big AHA! moment. Also had been treated with antidepressants (20 years), anxiety meds…helped some but my mind was always felt fuzzy, distracted, agitated…mood often very low, basically bored with life in general. When something good happens I feel great, but it subsides quickly and I’m looking for the next thing to make me feel good again…new car (about 1 week), new dog (a few weeks), buy stuff (hours)…relationships are tough because I get bored with people very quickly…I’m less bored with myself; need lots of personal space.
so, meds…tried vyvanse (made me verrrry edgy), next adderal instant release, better but not great, more motivated, less bored, but not really more focused; now I hyperfocus all the time and so don’t get stuff done… laptop is my best friend as there’s so much stuff to see and do and know!!!!!
So I’m back to my doc next week and want to try something new but have no idea what as it seems meds either make you sleepy or too alert…I’m stumped too.

]]> By: TotallyADDiva http://totallyadd.com/the-courage-to-come-out-of-the-adhd-closet/#comment-368 TotallyADDiva Thu, 16 Sep 2010 17:02:07 +0000 http://totallyadd.com/?p=1097#comment-368 ***** ""Me, I’m interested in liberation and, hell, call it ADHD Pride. Hmm, maybe when enough people have ‘come out of the ADHD closet’ we’ll have an ‘ADHD Pride Parade’. And everyone will show up late, or on the wrong day, or at the wrong place. It’ll be great!"" ****** I LOVED THESE WORDS BEYOND EXPLANATION. You had me laughing out loud!!!!!!!! they gave me hope and made me nostalgic all at the same time. I hope I see the ADHD parade in my lifetime too, if we could only remember to advertise it! =) ...great post ***** “”Me, I’m interested in liberation and, hell, call it ADHD Pride. Hmm, maybe when enough people have ‘come out of the ADHD closet’ we’ll have an ‘ADHD Pride Parade’. And everyone will show up late, or on the wrong day, or at the wrong place. It’ll be great!”" ******

I LOVED THESE WORDS BEYOND EXPLANATION. You had me laughing out loud!!!!!!!! they gave me hope and made me nostalgic all at the same time. I hope I see the ADHD parade in my lifetime too, if we could only remember to advertise it! =) …great post

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