“Grow up.”
November 5, 2009
My nephew walks into the living room at a family gathering and announces, “Does anyone want tea or coffee?” And I shout, “Of course they do. Millions of people do. That’s why there is a big tea and coffee industry. And coffee shops. Lots of people want tea or coffee!”
Interesting to have an 11 year old stare at you as if to say, “Grow up.”
17 Responses to ““Grow up.””
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I am laughing silently right now in our math computer lab at school. So hard, I’m shaking…silently…. XD That alone is cracking me up. I’m going to have to share that original post with my family. We always do that kind of thing with each other. Okay, now I feel like I can read the comments…
misunderstanding has been a big issue for me since I was a kid. I try to say something and people understand something different. or I hear something and understand sooooo much more than what had just been said. I found validating our understanding is a way to get around that . But , of course, it has to be with people you know and who know you well…. with strangers, it’s still an issue……
A few months ago a 6 year old told me that if I would just put my stuff where it was supposed to go I wouldn’t lose it all the time. It’s true.
I’m tired, emotionally, physically tired of all the drama that my husband causes for me and the kids. I’m tired of the ‘I’m sorries’ and when he says it I’m supposed to forgive him and put on a smile right away or I get in shit all over again. He’s like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Although he thinks he does nothing wrong. Today’s not a good day, again. I woke up and asked a question that he didn’t like and because he was in a rush I got beat down again. I just hate talking to him most of the time. I’ve heard that you need to listen without hearing to an ADDer because of the stuff that comes out of their mouth. Now I barely even listen.
LOL! That poor 11 year old. Thank goodness he realized that it had nothing to do with him. I’m glad that he gave you that look and that you realized what he was communicating.
I sometimes do that, and for years have thought about how sensical my statement (or shout) is. If it’s nonsensical, I don’t utter it (too often). So, growing up is hard to do. And growing up is satisfying. Good luck next time!
Also, TheBishop72 is right on. ADDers do see, think, feel differently. I argue with my sister about whether I was hurtful when I was just being matter-of-fact or humorous. Based on behavior, I think that my dad has ADD. The rest of the family is very frustrated with both of us. C’est la vie. Of course, my mom and sister sometimes shout similarly. Maybe we all have ADD!! LOL!!
Well I am no expert, but I just saw the show ADD and loving it, tonight and I felt like they made the show about me also!! I am going to go to my physician and start the process of getting treated for this very disabling condition. I was diagnosed hyperactive as a kid, and took Ritalin for all of my childhood until the end of 6th grade. 7 years. My life since then has been to say the least, a nightmare of epic proportions. Thanks to the program, I am going to get help, and I hope that my nightmare will come to an end. I hope that you have started down your road to a better life!!! I hope that I can salvage mine and start living the life God intended me to live.
I’m 50 and have been seeking some help; a diagnosis, or discussion or chicken soup – so to speak for 20 years. Throughout the years I have struggled with my own business, while many customers have told me I have ADHD. I have gone to several health clinics and mental health clinics and no one would diagnose me with ADHD but depression. I couldn’t even figure out how to take the self test that’s indicated at the top of this page. Can anyone please provide me with a lead, a starting place. I just saw the show “ADD and loving it” and it felt like they made the show about me.
You know what would be great?? A chicken soup for the ADDers soul!!!
That is like something I would say during a meeting. The colleagues in my department would have laughed and then added something to it…they get it. but the other departmental personal would titter and hide their laughter behind their hands while others would just roll their eyes and say under their breaths, “How immature”.
haha! Sometimes I find myself looking for a bag to place over my head after having my mouth move faster than my brain (or maybe I’m just picking up the vibes from those around me wishing they had a bag to put over their heads, or probably my head… ) There was the time I congratulated the 20 or so Prom Queens and Kings as they left the restaurant we were dining in … and reminded them to practice safe birth control.
I seriously meant no harm, it’s just that anyone who could remember graduating knew where that party was going, I just had the misfortune of not having glued my mouth shut that evening. Consider it a Public Service Announcement I suggested to my astonished tablemates.
Now my daughter just sighs at me, shakes her head a bit and says “Oh mother”… which leaves me feeling a bit like Mr. Magoo, as in “you’ve done it again”. Thankfully she adds “I love you” to that phrase and we add it to the list of things to laugh about!
My only comment to all this is, I look at the photo of you, Train29, and I think wow. A Hamster who can type! And who has ADHD?! Wow! Talk about being an outsider.
Uh oh, my nephew is going to frown at me again!
Most of my family is ADD and we kinda live by no harm meant, no ham done. Unless someone is really hurt of course, other wise, we’d never stop apologizing
I have met many non ADHD’ers who think, when I try to explain some of the ways my ADHD came come out, think I am trying to make an excuse for myself.
I think The Bishop is right when he says: “I think that a hallmark of ADD is that we see and think and feel and hear things at a different frequency than most others”.
I could be wrong, and there are probably all varieties. But Ev, maybe … just maybe … you misinterpreted your husband a few times. I know I’ve been misinterpreted a LOT of times, and that too can be very hurtful to a person.
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The incidence referred in the blog is of a type I know very well. Especially as a kid I would be confused about how people misunderstood my meaning.
As and adult I’ve simply learned to keep things more to myself, but misunderstandings still happen.
Yep, funny. Even funnier was the 11 year olds response. I get that every day at school. 6th grade science was probably the dream job for me.
I don’t think that’s even remotely harmful. If someone chose to hear that as harmful, it has nothing to do with he or she who said itm but rather an inability of the recipient to see the humour in it! Maybe I’m wrong. I guess it really depends on how it was said. I think that a hallmark of ADD is that we see and think and feel and hear things at a different frequency than most others. That which we find cerebral or funny or factual, others may find banal, sarcastic or spiteful or us being “know-it-alls”.
I thought it was funny.
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LOSE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR, but you do have to live in the
real world. When an non-ADDer says something to hurt someone’s feelings or says something inappropriate to someone, then they need (and mean it) to apologize. I have found too many ADHDers who make the excuse that they have ADD so it is okay if they hurt people’s feelings or say something inappropriate. I have been married for thirty-three years to my husband who has ADHD, so I definitely have been through it all and know what I am talking about through personal experiences.
If growing up equals losing my sense of humor …. I will never grow up!