This year Canada’s top comedic talent and special guests will join our friend Patrick McKenna for an unforgettable night of hilarity. Saturday, February 18, 2012 at the National Arts Centre (NAC).

After partaking in Winterlude’s outdoor activities, come on inside, thaw your toes and laugh. Join:

• the hilarious five-time Gemini nominee Derek Edwards;
• Deborah Digiovanni, Canada’s 2011 female stand-up of the year;
• the always funny Joey Elias from Montreal and
• rising star Trent McLellan from St. John’s Newfoundland.

After all those beaver tails, let laughter burn calories and flex your abs.

To Purchase Winterlude Zone Tickets:

• Ticketmaster: Visit the Ticketmaster website and enter the code “33CRACKIT” in the Exclusive Presale Offer field. There is a $6.50 per seat convenience charge when purchasing through Ticketmaster.
• National Arts Centre Box Office: Visit the NAC box office web page for hours and location. There is no fee to purchase tickets in person, give them the code “33CRACKIT” to receive the discount.

John Helmkay 101 James Cummings Ave Ottawa, Ontario K2H8E4 613-828-2310 home 613-513-7200 cell

When I was about 45 I took up tennis. More or less by accident. We had bought a timeshare at a place in Florida for the winter. To keep busy while we were there, I took a one-hour tennis lesson every morning—it was a workout AND entertainment AND added knowledge. Multi-tasking!

When we came back home that summer it never occurred to me to keep playing tennis. In my mind it was a winter thing.

The following winter when I got back on the court, I had to virtually start over with the lessons. So it seemed like better economics if I actually took it up year round and kept playing back home each summer. I did, and today, I love the game – really the only “game” I play.

Now I had 3 weeks of daily lessons for about 7 or 8 years until we sold the timeshare. That’s probably more lessons than most amateurs ever have. I was taught how to play the game and actually make good shots. Now, during the winter I play with chums from the house league twice a week, 2 hours a time. The catch is that, until now, I have never made it past house league level of play. Which was fine. It’s lots of fun and a great workout. But I’m a guy, I’m competitive.

Earlier this winter, I thought I would experiment with taking my ADHD meds just before tennis to see if it would improve my focus. Specifically focussing on the ball; which I realized was putting the ceiling on my progress. Well, it worked – the game felt different and my results were different – even my chums noticed. Once I told them what I was doing they figured I should be bringing enough medication for all of them too! My response was that I was just seeing what they normally see!

Usually I only take medication on weekday mornings to get my day headed in the right direction. So this was outside of my routine. That, plus having ADHD, meant that I would often forget the meds until I was at the court – too late!

But when I did remember to take them early enough, I began to focus more on focusing on the ball and it would make a difference. At least on a hit or miss (if you will excuse the phrase) basis. Still I could see the improvement. It was the right direction.

Finally, a month ago I redesigned my play to deliberately hyper-focus on the ball right from the moment the server was bouncing it in preparation… right to the end of the point – even if he was serving to my partner. So now I’m following the ball like an old cartoon, those ones with the heads swivelling back and forth, but… it is working! Big time!

I can now see the ball coming in time to make the shots I had mastered years ago, but had never been able to use. My reaction time is finally as good as my swing. The result? My game has transformed over the past few weeks.

Last week, I saw what I was doing from a whole new perspective. This is ADHD training in focusing-on-demand – exactly the issue that gets in the way in so many areas of life. I wanted a specific improvement in one area, and worked on it. But it’s applicable to anything I want to master. This isn’t just about focussing during tennis, it’s about having a successful, functional life!

I am enjoying a whole new level of well-being… thanks to my tennis!

Malcolm Black, Inventor

In this installment of Humor and Happiness, I think a dog is the right thing for an ADHD family and for ADDers. Here is why:

a) Dogs give unconditional acceptance. Cats do not. Dogs love you no matter what and are just happy to be with you. ADDers need to know that here is someone who cares about them for being them and isn’t interested in anything but.
b) Dogs create structure and appropriate time management. It’s like having a child that never grows up. When the dog forces the structure on you, it has a tendency to structure other things as well.
c) A dog has no concept of time, pretty typical of ADDers, so everything is in the moment. I think this does help the ADDer understand to let things go and move on to the future. Dogs are very instructive this way.
d) Dogs love routine and consistency. They follow patterns and learn habits. If you can train a dog, you’ve learned the ingredient that will change your habits: patience and being positive.
e) Dogs need an owner who exudes positive energy. It forces you to look at your own energy and vibe. It helps to define who you should be at that moment. Since dogs are in the family, it makes it easier to compartmentalize that you are the leader and the family wants to see you in control. The dog makes it obvious.

ADDers need dogs. And I think, even if you don’t have ADHD, dogs make a family just a better place to be.

I know a lot of ADHD/ADD people. Whaddya expect, I work in show business. (And yes, I know, “You call that work?!”) One of my friends, Glenn, is a television writer, a pilot and he’s hugely interested in astronomy. He and his wife Michelle live up north and the number of stars they can see at night is breathtaking.

Now I actually took Astronomy in University, but you know how school tends to completely squeeze the joy and excitement out of things. So when Glenn told me the following stuff, I was amazed.

First of all, there are a lot of stars. I know that.
But Glenn explained that if you hold out a pin at arm’s length … in any direction, including down, it blocks out part of the sky. (If you hold it down, you have to imagine the earth isn’t there, and you’re blocking the sky on the other side of the planet, right? Okay, if you don’t get it, then just imagine holding it up at night so it’s at arms length.)
The pin blocks out a tiny bit of the sky, right?
Behind the head of that pin are roughly 50,000 Galaxies!
Not stars. Galaxies. Galaxies are collections of huge numbers of stars.
Each Galaxy contains an average of 100 Billion stars.
And remember, Our Sun is a star – just relatively close. (But you knew that.)
Our own Milky Way Galaxy is larger than average – approximately 200 Billion stars or suns. The Andromeda Galaxy is even bigger with – best guess – 300 Billion Star/Suns.
Current best guess for number of Galaxies in our known Universe (including Dwarf Galaxies) – One Trillion!
That’s a million, millions!
It’s such a big number it’s only used to describe atoms or national debts.
The majority of Star/Suns have “Worlds” in orbit around them … Planets … Moons … Asteroids … Comets … and various other refuse left over from our Solar System’s creation.
Counting Comets & Asteroids, there are well over a Billion “Worlds” in our Solar System alone. (Over 1,000 Pluto-like Worlds discovered in the past decade {including Eris, which is bigger than Pluto} and that number will only go up.)

Glenn had my head spinning. Like a planet does.
And you may have heard, astronomers just announced that they have found a planet that is earth’s twin in another solar system.
The point of all this… No wonder I feel like I’m overwhelmed all the time! It’s not my ADHD. There’s just too much happening!!!
I’m thinking of moving to an alternate universe.
Wanna come?

This is Part 4 on our discussion on humor. You may have seen part 1, part 2, and part 3 already where we talk about the value of humor, the differentiation from silly and the flavor of sarcasm. The continuum of humor does overlap significantly with the concept of happy. They are not necessarily, mutually exclusive, of course. Certainly excessive silliness does not mean extra happy. Excessive happy is often referred to as Mania, and you don’t want to go there. Mania is a type of impulse behavior that is reckless and clearly pathological. Buying a new pair of shoes on a whim is not mania. Emptying your bank account and spending it at Vagas with your secretary is mania. I think you get the gradation.

So while excessive happy is driven by impulse, that’s obvious, what about the things we tend to get manic about? One would argue that these drives or desires are actually very primitive survival instincts. There are really only five. Can you guess?

Air. Well that’s easy. If you get too much air, you just pass out so you really can’t go nuts over air. Thirst. OK, well, try drinking three litres of water at once and see how you feel. But on a hot day, and your throat is parched, thirst craving is to die for (sometimes literally). Food. Hunger is an impulse. Just look at fat people. When it consumes you through impulse, it leads to an irresistible urge that the person knows is not good leading to self loathing afterwards. It is no longer about survival just a primitive desire that won’t stop. Starvation has been long considered the means to gain self control. Of course, anorexics know this too well. But still, fasting is a part of almost all religions after all. Denying oneself of a staple ingredient.

If you got those first three, well those were easy. What about sex? Yes. We are biologically driven to procreate. Gaining self control is celebicy. Shutting off the internal desire for a primitive need. What about money? Yes. While it is not necessarily money but more the ability that money allows us to survive. It is really the desire for things to survive. Self control over money is called charity and abstinance. Again, a virtuous quality.

Now here is the interesting part. What if you go the other way. What if you saturate us with any of these five things, the desire stops (at least temporarily). Air, Thirst, Food, Sex and Money. If you have unlimited supply, it’s not fun anymore. The happiness ends. So….people who are really rich who have access to all of these five things in abundance, are misereable souls. We should pity them.

Have a happy day!

This morning there was an ad on TV about empowering young girls. (Which sounds like a positive, right? What with Oprah’s girl’s school in South Africa graduating it’s first class this week.) The ad was quite dramatic and clearly not to be taken lightly. A series of girls voices making different pledges. I can’t remember the exact wording but it was stuff like:

“I will not exclude people who are different.”
“I will not lose friends because other girls say they aren’t cool.”
“I will not be pressured into…”
“I will not abandon friends…”
“I will not remain silent when…”

Very inspiring. Or so it was supposed to be. But it just left me feeling weird. (And hey, I already feel weird.) Why wasn’t I inspired? I mean, I have a daughter and my wife is a female, they are both inspiring. I think girls should be powerful.

Read those lines from the Girl Power commercial again… Notice the first three words.
Especially the third one, NOT. “I will NOT…” Totally negative. The ad made them sound like they were stuck in the terrible-twos. It was all about what they’re NOT going to do. All negative, not to mention delivered in a tough, confrontational tone.

Now I don’t know about you, and I barely know about me, but I’m clear that I never feel inspired by thinking, “Today, I will NOT lose friends. And I will NOT be miserable while making crappy TV shows. And I will not be exploited….”
When I focus on motivating and inspiring myself, I have way more luck with, “Today I’m going to make some friends, have fun making great TV shows, and get paid well for it!” Woo hoo! Bring on the day! By the way, I can tell you, I used to start the day with a lot of negatives. In fact, until a decade ago, I lived my whole life from the negative… It was depressing.

It may seem like I’m nitpicking but language is everything. Would you hire someone who spent their entire interview telling you what they wouldn’t be doing for you? Or reverse it, would you work for someone who during the job interview listed what they didn’t want you to do? Would you marry someone who only focused on what they wouldn’t be doing?

In fact, how do you create anything from negatives? What would an architect say? “I’m not going to leave that space there empty and utterly devoid of a great home.” No, she would say, “I’m going to build a great home here!”

Consider if that TV commercial for Girl Power had phrased the same points as a positive.
“I will embrace people no matter who they are.”
“I will be loyal to my friends through thick and thin.”
“I will speak up against…”
“I will be loving and…’
“I will honour my body and my health by…”
“I will take care of…”
“I will take a stand for what’s right…”

Can you hear the difference? WAY MORE INSPIRING!

Can you start to see why every political debate is depressing to listen to, because it’s all negatives: “We will protect people from crime/terrorism/taxes/the state/big government/big corporations/foreign entanglements/oppression/unemployment…”
Rather than, “We will ensure safety for people to live free, be happy, protected, wealthy, healthy, full of hope…” Read America’s Declaration of Independence, feel the optimism.

For those who can remember, President Kennedy did NOT say, “We refuse to remain stuck on earth. We will fight those who oppose us landing on the moon and defeat them. We will struggle against gravity and fight through every technological problem and battle every financial challenge… ”

If he had said it, trust me, Neil Armstrong would have simply been a test pilot who ended up teaching at a university.

Well, of course, sarcasm is a thinly veiled way of expressing anger through the disguise of humor. However, it is very destructive particularly when expressed towards children. Kids might be smart enough to get sarcasm but it is really hurtful. And words can hurt. Silliness, by comparison is more akin to fear and embarrassment, also disguised as humor. Being a goof still doesn’t get you friends just as much as sarcasm does. Most of all, sarcasm is confusing- are you happy with me or what? This is often referred to as the double bind and it creates an emotional tension, akin to verbal abuse. Really! It can be that bad.

Why do people use sarcasm? Sarcasm is not wit. Sarcasm is a coping strategy to express what they feel much like other non-verbal ways of communicating anger (like rolling eyes, dismissive sighing or looking at your watch expressing impatience). It is important not to use sarcasm to express oneself but come true to your feelings of what is happening. Sometimes, there is never a nice way to express anger but sarcasm is like rubbing salt into someone else’s wound. Try this one on, “When did you stop being so stupid?” Is this a complement? Don Rickles, the master of the one line sarcasm, makes people laugh. But would you want to be at the end of that snake tongue? Painful, yes, funny, yes, as long as it is not you.

Isn’t a little sarcasm OK? It might be, if you were watching a sitcom because you are not at the butt of someone’s barbs but, in real life, it is not pleasant. Humor is good. Sarcasm isn’t. I’d like to hear from people about their perceptions. I do appreciate your humor from past sessions. Heard some very good jokes. Keep them coming.

Saturday, March 3^rd, 2012 – MacEwan Ballroom, University of Calgary

The Calgary branch of C.H.A.D.D. Canada is happy to announce that we have brought together three of North America’s top ADHD experts to address the 12^th Biennial CHADD ADHD Conference.

Be sure to free up your time for Saturday March 3^rd and join us at the University of Calgary’s MacEwan Ballroom as Dr Sam Goldstein, Dr Umesh Jain, and Rick Green take us on an exciting journey to a new understanding of this neurological condition that affects so many of us.

You will never think of ADHD the same way again!

For more information, please visit the new C.H.A.D.D. Canada website where you can register for the conference on-line and/or purchase a CHADD Canada membership.

Space is limited so don’t delay!

www.CHADDCanada.com

Click here to view flier!

Doctors and scientists call it ADHD/ADD. But what do you call it? How do you view it? William asked me if I view my ADHD as a disability or a handicap. He was asking in the comment stream after I blogged about taking a moment to review 2011 and celebrate your successes. Something I haven’t yet done myself! Ha! You can read my reply, here.

It’s an interesting question, one that instantly has me questioning… are those the only two choices? Either disability or a handicap? A disability meaning something I can’t do. A handicap meaning something that’s much harder for me than for others. Like a golfer who is handicapped a certain number of strokes to make it more competitive. In which case, the answer to your question is, yes, sometimes it feels like a handicap. And yes, on really challenging days it definitely feels like a disability. Other times it’s a strength. Or rather, aspects of it are a strength. Tuning out of conversations is never going be a strength. Even when the other person is actually boring. Or rude.

When I’m brainstorming it feels like a gift. In fact, it doesn’t feel like anything. It’s just … it’s who I am. I can look back afterwards and realize I was in the zone, but at the time I’m being creative or doing something I love… I’m kind of unaware of myself. Which is kind of cool in a way. When I’m aware of myself I’m mostly second guessing what I’m doing, doubting, or mentally berating myself.

So yes, when it’s working for me, or rather I’m playing to those aspects of myself, or rather… when I’m using it to my advantage, it’s not a disability or a handicap. Is that how it is for you? What is it like when you’re lost in what you love? Or even simply deliberately lost in a mindless task, like watching TV? For me there’s a big difference between channel surfing to try to shut my brain off, and watching something engaging.

When I’m struggling to stay on task, or do the boring paperwork rather than something way more fun, then it’s handicapping me. Not crippling me. I can do the boring paperwork if I create an empowering context around it and some structures, but it’s a handicap. I have to work harder than many other people.

Disability? Dunno. I’m not totally disabled. Just, working harder than most people on some things. And stuff that terrifies most people, like walking onstage, no problem. In a way, I have been lucky. I found a career that works. Or rather worked hard to be successful enough to do comedy and television full time.

I know a woman who is a quadriplegic and gets around in her electric wheelchair by blowing on a plastic pipe. She is also a lawyer and published author. And an artist. She had huge handicaps. But her desire was bigger than her disability. And she had a ton of help. As does anyone who is successful at anything.

If your passion is basketball, and you’re only 6′ 2″ tall making a career as a professional basketball player… well, you’re going to have to work harder than most. If you’re 5’ 8”, well, since no team will even give you a try out, you could consider basketball coaching, announcing, training… whatever. Find an area that gets you juiced, basketball, comedy, renovating, whatever, and then find a way to make a career in that. Do what you love… push your limits… and if you’re not willing to do something, don’t make yourself wrong.

For myself, well, I’ve written and co-written, 700 episodes of television and radio. It’s all been skit comedy. I write short skits. Not long 100 page screenplays which require weeks to do one draft, and require endless drafts and rewrites. It’s not that I wouldn’t want my name on a movie. I have ideas for screenplays. I don’t have the patience, yet at least, to pursue them. Disappointed? A bit. Sure. Do I make myself wrong for it? Nope. Hey, I wanted to be a rock star and I got over that.