The ADHD – Tennis Matrix

A guest blog by our friend, inventor Malcolm Black. How cool is it having a friend who is an inventor?!

By Malcolm Black

When I was about 45 I took up tennis. More or less by accident. We had bought a timeshare at a place in Florida for the winter. To keep busy while we were there, I took a one-hour tennis lesson every morning—it was a workout AND entertainment AND added knowledge. Multi-tasking!

When we came back home that summer it never occurred to me to keep playing tennis. In my mind it was a winter thing.

The following winter when I got back on the court, I had to virtually start over with the lessons. So it seemed like better economics if I actually took it up year round and kept playing back home each summer. I did, and today, I love the game – really the only “game” I play.

Now I had 3 weeks of daily lessons for about 7 or 8 years until we sold the timeshare. That’s probably more lessons than most amateurs ever have. I was taught how to play the game and actually make good shots. Now, during the winter I play with chums from the house league twice a week, 2 hours a time. The catch is that, until now, I have never made it past house league level of play. Which was fine. It’s lots of fun and a great workout. But I’m a guy, I’m competitive. Read more

Happiness is a warm puppy

By Umesh Jain

In this installment of Humor and Happiness, I think a dog is the right thing for an ADHD family and for ADDers. Here is why:

a) Dogs give unconditional acceptance. Cats do not. Dogs love you no matter what and are just happy to be with you. ADDers need to know that here is someone who cares about them for being them and isn’t interested in anything but.
b) Dogs create structure and appropriate time management. It’s like having a child that never grows up. When the dog forces the structure on you, it has a tendency to structure other things as well.
c) A dog has no concept of time, pretty typical of ADDers, so everything is in the moment. I think this does help the ADDer understand to let things go and move on to the future. Dogs are very instructive this way. Read more

THE UNIVERSAL CHALLENGE

By Rick Green

I know a lot of ADHD/ADD people. Whaddya expect, I work in show business. (And yes, I know, “You call that work?!”) One of my friends, Glenn, is a television writer, a pilot and he’s hugely interested in astronomy. He and his wife Michelle live up north and the number of stars they can see at night is breathtaking.

Now I actually took Astronomy in University, but you know how school tends to completely squeeze the joy and excitement out of things. So when Glenn told me the following stuff, I was amazed.

First of all, there are a lot of stars. I know that.
But Glenn explained that if you hold out a pin at arm’s length … in any direction, including down, it blocks out part of the sky. (If you hold it down, you have to imagine the earth isn’t there, and you’re blocking the sky on the other side of the planet, right? Okay, if you don’t get it, then just imagine holding it up at night so it’s at arms length.)
The pin blocks out a tiny bit of the sky, right?
Behind the head of that pin are roughly 50,000 Galaxies! Read more

Can there be such a thing as too much happy?

By Umesh Jain

This is Part 4 on our discussion on humor. You may have seen part 1, part 2, and part 3 already where we talk about the value of humor, the differentiation from silly and the flavor of sarcasm. The continuum of humor does overlap significantly with the concept of happy. They are not necessarily, mutually exclusive, of course. Certainly excessive silliness does not mean extra happy. Excessive happy is often referred to as Mania, and you don’t want to go there. Mania is a type of impulse behavior that is reckless and clearly pathological. Buying a new pair of shoes on a whim is not mania. Emptying your bank account and spending it at Vagas with your secretary is mania. I think you get the gradation.

So while excessive happy is driven by impulse, that’s obvious, what about the things we tend to get manic about? One would argue that these drives or desires are actually very primitive survival instincts. There are really only five. Can you guess? Read more

Girl Power

By Rick Green

This morning there was an ad on TV about empowering young girls. (Which sounds like a positive, right? What with Oprah’s girl’s school in South Africa graduating it’s first class this week.) The ad was quite dramatic and clearly not to be taken lightly. A series of girls voices making different pledges. I can’t remember the exact wording but it was stuff like:

“I will not exclude people who are different.”
“I will not lose friends because other girls say they aren’t cool.”
“I will not be pressured into…”
“I will not abandon friends…”
“I will not remain silent when…”

Very inspiring. Or so it was supposed to be. But it just left me feeling weird. (And hey, I already feel weird.) Why wasn’t I inspired? I mean, I have a daughter and my wife is a female, they are both inspiring. I think girls should be powerful.

Read those lines from the Girl Power commercial again… Notice the first three words.
Especially the third one, NOT. Read more

Sarcasm: Is it humor or is it anger?

By Umesh Jain

Well, of course, sarcasm is a thinly veiled way of expressing anger through the disguise of humor. However, it is very destructive particularly when expressed towards children. Kids might be smart enough to get sarcasm but it is really hurtful. And words can hurt. Silliness, by comparison is more akin to fear and embarrassment, also disguised as humor. Being a goof still doesn’t get you friends just as much as sarcasm does. Most of all, sarcasm is confusing- are you happy with me or what? This is often referred to as the double bind and it creates an emotional tension, akin to verbal abuse. Really! It can be that bad.

Why do people use sarcasm? Sarcasm is not wit. Sarcasm is a coping strategy to express what they feel much like other non-verbal ways of communicating anger (like rolling eyes, dismissive sighing or looking at your watch expressing impatience). It is important not to use sarcasm to express oneself but come true to your feelings of what is happening. Sometimes, there is never a nice way to express anger but sarcasm is like rubbing salt into someone else’s wound. Try this one on, Read more