I did a commercial once, for Chukchansi Gold Casino. The casino is in California, but the commercial was shot here because our dollar was so much lower then, and so they could do it with non-union talent (which I, unfortunately, still am) without getting in trouble with SAG and AFTRA. In fact, they were so determined to fly under even ACTRA’s radar that the product was referred to by a code name, and we only found out what it was when we got to the studio.

I played one of a gaggle of the kind of women who spend all their days at the slot machines, but who had been distracted by a hunky male crooner, whom we were pursuing lustfully through the “casino”. I think we did a dozen takes, before they paid us off and released us. I’m sure you can imagine my internal monologue that afternoon.

I’ve never seen the commercial, and, mercifully, Chukchansi Gold has never posted it on their website. But I live in fear that someday, it will surface, probably on YouTube.

I’m trying to remember if that beard was mine or one that they put on me? Probably it’s mine.

The highlight of the three days was sitting in a chair, with a camera rolling and then as Mrs. B put a large platter of painstakingly arranged chicken in front of me and then delivering the line, “Smells like chicken.” 37 times. Thirty seven! And each time the director would say, “Less. Flatter. Less energy. Less inflection.”

If that isn’t a fun way to spend an hour of your life, well, I can’t imagine what is!

I wish I could attend the workshop, but I’ll be on a train heading to Brantford (ye gods!) for a burlesque show gig (“The Rehab Revue”) that night.

Purely to twist the knife a bit, I found one of those Shake & Bake commercials, from “only” 25 years ago.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wXFrwpj3pk